The other day, Padhia was telling me about her design firm she used to own and how she went about projects. She took people’s ideas but always returned them with her own spin. The result was clients liking something they didn’t even know they wanted.
I think this is a great mindset for relationships. It’s easy to give people what they want. Well, not always. But try giving them something they didn’t even know they wanted. What would that even look like? Hint. Don’t ask them. Only you hold the answers. It has to do with you being uniquely you.
Chew on this. The probability that your parents had sex that night or morning or whenever and you were created exactly the way you were created is 1 in 400 trillion. That’s trillion with a “t”. Put a trillion people in a room. Well, there aren’t even a trillion people on this planet. Okay, you get the point.
Relationships are all about connection. How we approach that connection is where your spin comes in. Connection involves both verbal and non-verbal communication, but also energy, attitude, and how you go into things, ultimately the power of your presence and how that makes someone feel. Ask yourself what makes you that 1 in 400 trillion. What do you radiate that stamps you as unique? Whether it’s your twisted humor, fearless laughter, attention to detail, your specialized taste in music, food, film, books, your thoughtfulness, the way you think, see the world, not being embarrassed about that gap in between your front teeth, everything you do and how you do it, cooking, singing, creating, coaching, amplify all of it and shoot it into every connection you have with your partner. Imagine that you’re trying to spin a top and the more you show you, the faster than top will spin. If you bring your spin to the table, they will feel things they haven’t before because these things were never presented this way before. Suddenly they like things they didn’t know they liked, and now want things they didn’t know they wanted.
Your spin is what makes you valuable. Know that. But most people see their spin as defects. They water themselves down. They don’t want to stick out. By doing this, they go from 1 in a trillion to one wobbly top. So ask yourself, do you want to be a wobbly top or a miracle?
Put your spin in your relationship and give them things they didn’t even know they wanted.